“I used to say to Lindsey, ‘You can choose to be happy or you can choose to be sad’ and she throws it right back in my face. As society changes, it’s becoming difficult for everyone. And it’s not just a story about special needs children. “It’s also about how it has affected my husband (John) and son (Michael). “It’s really all about the complicated relationships between mothers and daughters and how do you find an acceptance on both parts?” Linda said. The memoir includes both a number of those humorous incidences but also the more exhausting times, such as when, at age 20, Lindsey ran away for over four years with a man more than twice her age. Lindsey was aware her mother was writing the book and explains to people, “My mom is telling the good, the bad and the ugly.” But she told Linda, “As long as you tell the truth, I guess it’s all right because I’m pretty darn funny.” She has never been made to feel like an outcast, according to Linda. Lindsey has had opportunities for new experiences and has made many new friends. Linda noted that she didn’t realize at first that Silverton was the perfect place to raise her daughter as it is such an open and accepting town, and embraces diversity. When she was 16, she ‘adopted’ two girls from the Philippines Children International and she has adopted two cats. But she’s also always been very passionate and driven and the sweetest, kindest person. Lindsey is on the autism spectrum and can be very combative and headstrong.

“I’m not a perfect mom and have made some mistakes but I do the best I can. “You’d think it was an insult but I was relieved,” Linda said. Linda spoke about recently picking up a friend at the airport who mentioned that Lindsey was “the most difficult special needs person she’s ever met.”

They said she had a short in her neurological system and would never process information the same as her peers.” Finally, we convinced OHSU to run some tests and at the end, the doctors concluded that Lindsey was mildly mentally retarded – a phrase that thankfully is not used anymore - and from an unidentifiable syndrome. When she a little girl, she had trouble making friends and was argumentative. “Then she had a grand mal seizure at six months old and started developing tremors. “When she was first born, we thought we had a perfectly healthy baby and we were so grateful for that,” she said.

I think discovering these challenges as they developed rather than right from birth was even more difficult because we weren’t prepared. so this just covers her adult years, from age 18 to her thirties, touching upon events that led up to this. Well, for me the symphony never showed up. You know, getting a different child than was expected and the violins come out and how wonderful it is. “But there are so many books on the early years. “This started out as a very long story, ranging from the time Lindsey was born to present,” Linda said.

Loving Lindsey by Linda Atwell